Betbiddav is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, humane warg.

Betbiddav created the Small Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betbiddav, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Betbiddav, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Betbiddav's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Betbiddav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare corn while wearing tights.

2. Always count to eight before sleeping.

3. Do not turn your hands toward north.

4. Never talk about dark energy near mice while wearing purple shoes and balancing nine lead spheres on your face.

5. Do not resist chaos.