Zodsawpad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, astonishing whale.

Zodsawpad created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Zodsawpad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zodsawpad, he will send you a sign.

Zodsawpad's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Zodsawpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near horses while wearing yellow shirts.

2. Remain kneeling during prayer.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always help grasshopers.

5. Never mix lentils with blood.