Dibcintun is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, thoughtless pig.

Dibcintun created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dibcintun, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dibcintun, it will turn you into a plant.

Dibcintun's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Dibcintun's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never feed peas to frogs while wearing rings.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dibcintun.

5. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Dibcintun in the centre of the settlement.