Wigteenlimzag is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, selfish elephant.

Wigteenlimzag created a photon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigteenlimzag, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wigteenlimzag, it will cry a lot.

Wigteenlimzag's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Wigteenlimzag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never mark doors with yellow.

4. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.