Gabflaptit is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, witty beaver.

Gabflaptit created the Sunflower Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabflaptit, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gabflaptit, she will torture you forever.

Gabflaptit's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Gabflaptit's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain standing during midday.

2. Do not resist chaos.

3. Never eat beans on days of mourning.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near snakes while wearing purple coats and balancing five silver spheres on your chest.

5. Do not record numbers concerning stars.