Figlargton is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, bad-tempered jackal.

Figlargton created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figlargton, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Figlargton, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Figlargton's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Figlargton's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Hide if five goats approach from the east.

4. Never talk about dark matter near tapirs while wearing white kilts.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.