Flapontmum is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, impressive mongoose.

Flapontmum created the planet Jupiter four years ago.

If you believe in Flapontmum, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flapontmum, he will jump up and down on your head.

Flapontmum's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Flapontmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross mountains at midday.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

4. Do not prepare aubergines while filled with joy.

5. Do not travel during autumn.