Yarltailbep is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, proud mole.

Yarltailbep created the planet Jupiter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarltailbep, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Yarltailbep, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Yarltailbep's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Yarltailbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never chant while facing north.

3. Hide from indigo dolphins for they are unholy.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.