Waptifpak is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, deceitful hedgehog.

Waptifpak created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Waptifpak, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Waptifpak, it will turn you into a plant.

Waptifpak's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Waptifpak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine gold sculptures of Waptifpak on top of important buildings.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never hop in holy places.

5. Run away if four horses approach from the west.