Feb Hubjatlipton is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, awesome wren.

Feb Hubjatlipton created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Feb Hubjatlipton, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Feb Hubjatlipton, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Feb Hubjatlipton's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Feb Hubjatlipton's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Never gather seven otters near towers.

3. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

4. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.