Gomyartkim is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, capable aardvark.

Gomyartkim created humankind three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomyartkim, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gomyartkim, it will curse you with boils.

Gomyartkim's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Gomyartkim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six cats approach from the west.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.