Fembanmil Nigfom is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, calm elephant.

Fembanmil Nigfom created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Fembanmil Nigfom, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fembanmil Nigfom, he will turn you into a mouse.

Fembanmil Nigfom's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Fembanmil Nigfom's Holy Commandments

1. Put Fembanmil Nigfom first in all things.

2. Never mention ducks.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Fembanmil Nigfom on top of important buildings.

5. Never eat green fruit.