Lanhampid is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy mole.

Lanhampid created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lanhampid, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lanhampid, it will curse you with boils.

Lanhampid's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Lanhampid's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Lanhampid eight times a day.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near sharks while wearing brown kilts and balancing five iron spheres on your face.