Wadquartpit is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unthinking unicorn.

Wadquartpit created oxygen two million years ago.

If you believe in Wadquartpit, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Wadquartpit, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Wadquartpit's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Wadquartpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

2. Never think ill of sick sharks.

3. Never touch oil while blessed.

4. Heed all signs.

5. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.