Kinhaplagkip is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unsympathetic jaguar.

Kinhaplagkip created gold nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kinhaplagkip, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kinhaplagkip, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Kinhaplagkip's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Kinhaplagkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

3. Kinhaplagkip must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not sing in public.