Konxucvonstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, annoying deer.

Konxucvonstaf created the world four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Konxucvonstaf, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Konxucvonstaf, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Konxucvonstaf's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Konxucvonstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Worship no other gods but Konxucvonstaf.

3. Always act with obedience.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never hurt hamsters.