Kincisscidcibquilltapwot Quillzenmil is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-assured dragon.

Kincisscidcibquilltapwot Quillzenmil created tapeworms six million years ago.

If you believe in Kincisscidcibquilltapwot Quillzenmil, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kincisscidcibquilltapwot Quillzenmil, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Kincisscidcibquilltapwot Quillzenmil's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Kincisscidcibquilltapwot Quillzenmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Kincisscidcibquilltapwot Quillzenmil's name in vain.

2. Put Kincisscidcibquilltapwot Quillzenmil first in all things.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Always act with humility when addressing strangers.