Jopmil Labgubtof is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, staggering parrot.

Jopmil Labgubtof created an atom eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopmil Labgubtof, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jopmil Labgubtof, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Jopmil Labgubtof's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Jopmil Labgubtof's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Never wear scarves.

3. Never speak at midnight.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not drink alcohol.