Lunsomgon is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, emotional dog.

Lunsomgon created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Lunsomgon, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Lunsomgon, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Lunsomgon's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Lunsomgon's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry hamsters.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never mention porpoises.