Hivcutflat is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, contented bat.

Hivcutflat created bats three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivcutflat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hivcutflat, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Hivcutflat's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Hivcutflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peas to sharks while wearing violet jumpers.

2. Never approach rivers carrying ash.

3. Do not sit at crossroads.

4. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.

5. Do not hurt aardvarks.