Stikstandag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, uncaring skunk.

Stikstandag created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Stikstandag, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Stikstandag, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Stikstandag's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Stikstandag's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about quantum gravity.

4. Never discuss horizontal gene transfer in public assemblies.

5. Never feed spinach to tapirs while wearing trousers.