Tamzanvad is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, fussy crocodile.

Tamzanvad created the Cigar Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamzanvad, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tamzanvad, he will make you grow a tail.

Tamzanvad's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Tamzanvad's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove ear rings before touching zinc.

2. Tamzanvad must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Never talk about eagles.