Jabcitmatponwitnelventim is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, deceitful horse.

Jabcitmatponwitnelventim created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabcitmatponwitnelventim, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jabcitmatponwitnelventim, he will torture you forever.

Jabcitmatponwitnelventim's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Jabcitmatponwitnelventim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate electromagnetism during the night.

2. Never eat bread on days of mourning.

3. Never point your hands toward the east during prayer.

4. Retreat if three hamsters approach from the west.

5. Always remove skirts before touching carbon.