Timsternig is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, two-faced chinchilla.

Timsternig created an electron three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timsternig, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Timsternig, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Timsternig's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Timsternig's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry voles.

2. Do not gather at wells at midnight.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not drink water in green rooms.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.