Afnutbiflakbarnpog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, effective pigeon.

Afnutbiflakbarnpog created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Afnutbiflakbarnpog, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Afnutbiflakbarnpog, it will turn you into a mouse.

Afnutbiflakbarnpog's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Afnutbiflakbarnpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to monkeys while wearing boots.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Afnutbiflakbarnpog must be the most important thing in your life.