Xucksadvol is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, smart horse.

Xucksadvol created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Xucksadvol, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xucksadvol, she will turn you into a rock.

Xucksadvol's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Xucksadvol's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Pray only in darkness.

4. Never gather four hamsters near bridges.

5. Never hurt great tits.