Bifdumarm is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, flying rhinoceros.

Bifdumarm created a photon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifdumarm, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bifdumarm, she will refuse to believe in you.

Bifdumarm's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bifdumarm's Holy Commandments

1. Put Bifdumarm first in all things.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never look at stars.