Kadmigvag is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, smart goat.

Kadmigvag created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadmigvag, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kadmigvag, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Kadmigvag's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Kadmigvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Always remove shirts before touching gold.

3. Do not keep six sharks in a large pit.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near tapirs while wearing fawn trousers and balancing seven platinum spheres on your neck.

5. Always cleanse ash with water.