Cimgudnak is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, astonishing beaver.

Cimgudnak created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimgudnak, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cimgudnak, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Cimgudnak's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Cimgudnak's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in shadows.

2. Never mark doors with magenta.

3. Do not record signs concerning stars.

4. Do not wear shorts marked with brown.

5. Never look at planets.