Xenstermob is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, prudent dragon.

Xenstermob created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenstermob, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Xenstermob, he will ignore you.

Xenstermob's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Xenstermob's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs purple.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Xenstermob.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Never feed pineapples to capybaras while wearing coats.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.