Gadgunmapced is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, duplicitous chicken.

Gadgunmapced created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gadgunmapced, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gadgunmapced, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gadgunmapced's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Gadgunmapced's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three aardvarks approach from the south.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never talk about gravity near ants while wearing purple skirts.