Dagvidvan is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, benevolent fish.

Dagvidvan created a bottom quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagvidvan, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dagvidvan, it will remove you from existence.

Dagvidvan's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Dagvidvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear copper on your body.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

3. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Always obey Dagvidvan's priests.