Cadlopzed is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, stupid seal.

Cadlopzed created the Black Eye Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Cadlopzed, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cadlopzed, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cadlopzed's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Cadlopzed's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not speak about cucumbers.