Ladbafcip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, intelligent octopus.

Ladbafcip created the solar system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ladbafcip, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ladbafcip, he will ignore you.

Ladbafcip's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Ladbafcip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat limes.

2. Always help monkeys.

3. You must love Ladbafcip.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not cook food in pots.