Femtarcap is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, intelligent jackal.

Femtarcap created snails eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Femtarcap, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Femtarcap, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Femtarcap's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Femtarcap's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never mention doves.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never wear coats.