Hambandab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, resourceful hippopotamus.

Hambandab created the Small Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hambandab, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hambandab, he will turn you into a puffin.

Hambandab's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Hambandab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never speak aloud of numbers.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Never wear orange dresses on sacred days.

5. Do not covet oxen.