Wipwonkamarp is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, charitable gnu.

Wipwonkamarp created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wipwonkamarp, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Wipwonkamarp, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Wipwonkamarp's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Wipwonkamarp's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Erect eight lead sculptures of Wipwonkamarp on top of important buildings.

3. Never feed grapes to mice while wearing fawn jumpers.

4. You must never eat cherries.

5. Feed all hungry ducks.