Hunjapbestvoglig is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, smart hummingbird.

Hunjapbestvoglig created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hunjapbestvoglig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hunjapbestvoglig, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Hunjapbestvoglig's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Hunjapbestvoglig's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove tights before touching zinc.

2. Never think about quantum gravity.

3. Always act with obedience.

4. Do not wear ear rings marked with yellow.

5. Never allow otters to sleep beneath your roof.