Dunsabman Japvolloop is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, stupid alligator.

Dunsabman Japvolloop created silver three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dunsabman Japvolloop, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dunsabman Japvolloop, she will turn you into a hamster.

Dunsabman Japvolloop's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Dunsabman Japvolloop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. You must never eat turnips.

3. Retreat if eight ants approach from the north.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not shave your neck.