Ragbissdagmat is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unsympathetic lobster.

Ragbissdagmat created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ragbissdagmat, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ragbissdagmat, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Ragbissdagmat's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Ragbissdagmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach forests carrying ash.

2. Retreat if six gulls approach from the south.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near otters while wearing violet boots and balancing five iron spheres on your face.

4. Do not name children after pigs.

5. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.