Barnsawham is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, strong eagle.

Barnsawham created the Sombrero Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnsawham, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Barnsawham, he will have a low opinion of you.

Barnsawham's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Barnsawham's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry doves.

2. Never feed melons to voles while wearing stockings.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity.

4. Never eat figs.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.