Afbodtaffudmidvagfob is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, impressive dugong.

Afbodtaffudmidvagfob created silver eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Afbodtaffudmidvagfob, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Afbodtaffudmidvagfob, it will refuse to believe in you.

Afbodtaffudmidvagfob's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Afbodtaffudmidvagfob's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not gather at towers at midday.

3. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Afbodtaffudmidvagfob on top of all buildings.

4. Do not name children after voles.

5. Do not place peas upon stone.