Carsidfenbellnegpas is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, contented scorpion.

Carsidfenbellnegpas created everything that exists four billion years ago.

If you believe in Carsidfenbellnegpas, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Carsidfenbellnegpas, he will strike you with lightening.

Carsidfenbellnegpas' most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Carsidfenbellnegpas' Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve doves, for they are unholy.

2. Hide if nine voles approach from the north.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near mites while wearing violet boots and balancing four gold spheres on your head.

4. Never feed peanuts to turtles while wearing ear rings.

5. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.