Hitcubxen is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, sapient dugong.

Hitcubxen created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hitcubxen, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hitcubxen, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Hitcubxen's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Hitcubxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Hitcubxen must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Never paint your face yellow.