Ortbitgom is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, omnipotent raven.

Ortbitgom created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortbitgom, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ortbitgom, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Ortbitgom's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Ortbitgom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Ortbitgom must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Ortbitgom loves frogs, so they must be respected.

5. Never pour water over plants.