Quimtonktitortraw is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unjust hydra.

Quimtonktitortraw created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Quimtonktitortraw, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Quimtonktitortraw, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Quimtonktitortraw's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Quimtonktitortraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to shrews while wearing indigo hats.

2. Never paint your arms magenta.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics.

5. Never play with disobedient children.