Yarpfagmil is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unthinking squirrel.

Yarpfagmil created the Sombrero Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpfagmil, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yarpfagmil, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yarpfagmil's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Yarpfagmil's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven zinc sculptures of Yarpfagmil on top of important buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarpfagmil.

4. Never speak at midday.

5. Do not speak sacred words in summer.