Zansagren is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, dishonest newt.

Zansagren created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zansagren, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Zansagren, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Zansagren's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Zansagren's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown scarves.

2. Do not place cherries upon stone.

3. Never hop near geese.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.