Hambessfud is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unfair capybara.

Hambessfud created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hambessfud, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hambessfud, she will turn you into a slug.

Hambessfud's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Hambessfud's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven gulls approach from the west.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Always treat dogs with great respect.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.