Pakzakwit is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, kind cow.

Pakzakwit created oxygen twelve years ago.

If you believe in Pakzakwit, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pakzakwit, she will turn you into a snail.

Pakzakwit's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Pakzakwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never sprint near snails.