Gemdubrut is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, dishonest cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gemdubrut created the planet Earth seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemdubrut, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gemdubrut, she will remove you from existence.

Gemdubrut's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Gemdubrut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never pray while filled with fear.

4. Never think about nucleic acids.

5. Never stain your head with orange.