Gedontlamhat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, tranquil tortoise.

Gedontlamhat created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gedontlamhat, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gedontlamhat, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gedontlamhat's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Gedontlamhat's Holy Commandments

1. Gedontlamhat loves goats, so they must be honoured.

2. Never sing near tortoises.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never speak of order in the presence of elders.

5. Always store garlic above ground.