Vidsadwapyarpbagsag Flislun is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, calm rhinoceros.

Vidsadwapyarpbagsag Flislun created humankind six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vidsadwapyarpbagsag Flislun, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vidsadwapyarpbagsag Flislun, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vidsadwapyarpbagsag Flislun's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Vidsadwapyarpbagsag Flislun's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your legs with brown markings.

2. Do not speak of gravity near sacred fires.

3. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

4. Never record secrets.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.