Wadflabgumbop is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonest armadillo.

Wadflabgumbop created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadflabgumbop, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wadflabgumbop, she will not care at all.

Wadflabgumbop's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Wadflabgumbop's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven geese approach from the east.

2. Do not record numbers concerning asteroids.

3. Never talk about chlorophyll.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Always stare at clouds.