Babpakcan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, calm chicken.

Babpakcan created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Babpakcan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Babpakcan, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Babpakcan's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Babpakcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume wheat at dawn.

2. Do not resist order.

3. You must pray to Babpakcan four times a day.

4. Never wear fawn corsets on sacred days.

5. Always help horses.